Remember When
by SunFlowerViolinist
Summary: Bella comes home after leaving for two years. Walking back into her little town following a tragic accident, she finds that nothing is the way that she left it. Facing the challenges of a new supernatural world, she seeks comfort with the love that she left behind. This is the story of their journey.


**_Remember When_**

_Preface: Coming Home_

My mother left when I was a baby. I was still breastfeeding and she just left. My dad talked about how hard it was. About I didn't want to take the bottle. He always would drop his hand and say 'I thought I was going to lose you too'. But, we got through it. In a few months I didn't remember the woman I came out of. I never knew that I was missing something. We got through it. Just the two of us against the world. He was my superhero when I was little. I remember sitting in the police station coloring on empty case folders. I remember watching every baseball game, every football game. I remember watching Cinderella laying on floor. He got these king sized pillows … telly pillows. That's what we called them. Because we would lay there on our stomach's watching the princess movies. He would make ham salad sandwiches. Those were the best daddy-daughter days there were. He would let me were my fairy wings to bed and my favorite bedtime story was the Hobbit. He tucked me into bed every night when I was little. When I got older he would say good night from the doorway. He would just smile and say 'I love you Bells. Don't you ever grow up'.

Nothing can freeze time though. So, we grew up. I was this preteen that he didn't know what to do with. He didn't know anything about training bras or hormones or periods. It was like the universe knew we were missing something, so it sent us Sue. She was struggling the same way. And within a year, we were a team of five. That first year was hard. We moved from our house into hers. She had two kids of her own. Leah was two years older than me. Seth was six years younger. The worst part was having to share a room with Leah. We fought the whole year. One time she locked me in the closet and I ask my dad if we could go back to our house. Just turn back the year and he laughed. He told me that all the fighting was a good sign. He told me that only sisters could fight like that. It meant that we were two families anymore. We were one big happy family.

We were a good family too. But, look how little that lasted. Eight years. Eight very short years. Then you do this to me. I don't even know who I am angry at. Fate. The universe. God. The idiot who didn't have the brains not to get behind that wheel. I always thought that I would lose him to a villain. I pictured an evil witch when I was little. I didn't get the whole picture then. I just knew that his line of work was dangerous. Then when I was older I was scared of guns. I thought a bank robber or mass shooting. He would go down in the line of duty. He would be a hero. But, he was my hero and I didn't want him out there with the bad guys. I would have much rather have him be a teacher or store manager. He liked being the hero too much. He loved his job. And I knew once they made him chief, he would never give it up.

I never thought I would lose him like this. I never thought he would go to the movies and then just never come back. They went on a date. You don't get killed on a date. When I got the call I couldn't believe it. I still can't. But, here I am sitting in the driveway of the power blue house I learned to call my home, when I should be in the middle of a lecture on bankruptcy. I feel the tears running down my face. I didn't want to go in, but I had to. I had too. Seth need clothes. I needed to feed the dog. You can't hide from reality forever.

But, if I sit in this rusty old truck. If I just sit here… then I can keep telling myself they are in there. I can keep picturing Christmas. I can picture there smiles. Hell, I can almost smell those famous cookies that Sue made. If I just sit here it doesn't feel real.

It sounds stupid, right?

After all not even Cher can turn back time.

I just need to be brave. I just need to do it. I just need… Just don't think. Just grab that bag and don't think. Before I knew it I was at the door. I walked into the house and dropped her bags right there in the middle of the entry way. Just like I always did. It felt like a knife was plunged into my heart when no one came running to the door. They always did.

_Christmas already. I just smiled as she opened the door. I took in the smell of Christmas cookies as she dropped her bags. "There she is our college girl!" Dad exclaimed as he walked towards her smiling. He just wrapped me in a hug. "It sure is good to have you home." He said as my stepmother came running from the kitchen holding a tray of cookies. Her dark locks pulled up. _

_"__Charlie she can't breathe." Sue said as she looked at them. He just stepped back still with that goofy smile on his face. "You look thinner." She added as she held out the tray. "Take a cookie. If you don't get some meat on those bones of yours, you will freeze to death." Home. This was what I missed. I just walked into the living room to see my brother sitting there watching television. _

_"__What's up minion?" I asked him as I sat down in dad's chair. He didn't answer. He didn't have a chance because there was a loud "BAM!" from behind me. I about fell out of the chair. I just turned around to see my sister standing there. I hadn't seen her in person since she left to join the Navy two years before. _

_"__Surprise!" My sister said as she just smiled at me. I jumped up and gave her a hug._

_"__I am going to get you back for that." I added with a laugh._

Thinking about it I can almost hear the laughter. I can almost smell the cookies. I am brought out of my thoughts when the dog nudges my leg with his head. I just look at him for a moment. The little beagle looked lost and lonely. "I know. I know." I said as I reached down to pick him up. I just carried him into the living room.

_Dad's face turned red as he looked at his two daughters holding that dog. "You bought a dog? Without asking us." He asked as he looked at them. _

_"__We are old enough to take care of him." Her sister said as she looked at him. "He needed a home." She said as she held the dog out. The little puppy just licked her father's face. _

_"__I will be keeping my eye on you hound dog." He said to the dog before looking at the girls. "I want to see you taking care of him. If you don't then he has to go." They just nodded. "What's his name?"_

_"__Max." I replied knowing that was the name of his childhood dog. He just nodded. _

I just sat down in dad's chair with the dog in her lap. "I miss them too, hound dog." I said as I let my tears fall again. How did it go so wrong? What did I do? How in one day can your life be destroyed? I was happy yesterday. I was missing this place yesterday.

_I looked out the window of my small dorm room. The rain was beating against the window and for a moment it felt like I was back home. Rain defined Forks, Washington. If you asked me two years ago if I would miss the rain so damn much I would laugh. But, that was one of the things I missed the most. Only falling behind my family and the brown eye boy that I left behind. I felt the tears start to run down my face as I thought about home. It was no question that I regretted leaving. I couldn't help, but smile when the phone rang. I figured it was that brown eyed boy I left behind two years ago; he always knows just the right time to call. "Sometimes I swear you are a damn mind reader." I said into the phone as I got up from my seat by the window. _

_"__Bella, I don't think you will sound so happy in a minute." I could hear the pain in his husky voice. I just stopped in my tracks as my heart started to race. Something happened. Something bad. I thought back to growing up as the Chief of Police's daughter. Every time he left the house and the phone rang I worried what happened. Luckily nothing did, but I was sure that something did now by the sound of the voice on the other line. _

_"__It's Charlie, isn't it?" I asked as I felt tears form._

_"__There was an accident." I lost it at his words. _

_"__I will be there in the morning." I said as she hung up the phone._

The phone started to ring. I just sat there for a moment. What else could be going wrong? What could possibly happen? I just looked at the dog for a moment and it was like he knew what was going to happen. He just climbed off my lap and I got up. I picked up the phone from its home on the desk. "Swan residence." I said into the phone trying not to sound like I was broken.

It sounds bad of me, but I was glad that the voice on the other line was just as broken as I was. I couldn't pretend to be put together. "Bella." I could tell in that one short word that my sister was just as broken. Her world was just as shattered. "I made my decision." Dad was gone there was no decision in that. He was gone and he was an organ donor. The decision came with Sue. Her heart was still beating, with the help of machines. She was still here. Her brain was gone though. She would never wake up. The hospital said that we both had to agree. I told Leah it was her decision. Sue was her mother. "I want them to unplug the machines. They can have her organs. I don't care. I just need her to be out of pain. I just need to know that she is happy. She can't be happy like this. She would…" She lost it. She couldn't keep talking. I understand.

"She would want to be with Dad." I said as I stood there fighting my own tears. I just heard a sigh on the phone.

"Yes." She breathed out. "I am trying to get leave to come home. I need you to make the arrangements. Billy can get you the number to the pastor." She said on the phone. I heard someone yell Clearwater in the background. "I have to go. Give her a kiss for me." The line went dead in a second. I just set the phone down before dropping to the floor.

Come on life, knock it out of me. I am down. Just knock the rest of the life out of me. Just knock me down. I am here.


End file.
